Alexandra Technique*

I’ve been coming to terms with my dis    ability lately        the kind you have to    touch    me
to understand could you raise your arms please      one day I’ll need a stick to walk with one
day they’ll stick enough needles in me              fine tuning            the tautness in my muscles
learnt this from a time when I was scared        don’t help me        and couldn’t help myself

Eddy slips me numbness at a party       I can’t use these where I’m going      it’s one of those
where            my body             turns counterfeit         can   you    feel   your   neck   becoming
available                around the front        mostly on the sides          stemming    the     flow    of
oxygen          rolling tidal          empty of reaction       my haptic        electric           capacitive
skin wrapped around aches   lengthening and widening         I’m learning to live with it

trauma informed and emotionally literate     a lover once told me to split my life expectancy
in half if my condition was anything like theirs           maybe I would if               I could gift the
leftovers to another      throw your body down          I think to love means to rest   you must
be a poet      in letting my friends joke about all the naps I take                    and saving myself
for loving what matters

* Lines in italics are largely transcribed from recorded Alexander technique lessons by Anthony Kingsley and Richard and Elizabeth Walker.

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Alexandra Cherian (she/they) is a filmmaker, writer, and girltwink extraordinaire from Te Whanganui-a-Tara. She is a founding member of queer filmmaking collective The New New and completed her MA in creative writing in 2025.